Monday, March 31, 2025

At Taco Bell, a Romance Is Born


I’ve by no means dated within the app period. As an alternative, I met individuals the old-school means: on the pc, specifically by means of the OkCupid web site, the place I glided by the username “tacobellforever.”

On Tinder, you choose somebody first by their title, age, and footage (proper?). However on OkCupid, your username led. And to me “tacobellforever” made the precise first impression: I used to be enjoyable (a Baja Blast, even) and I discovered pleasure in low-brow issues. Anybody who noticed themself as above this might self-select out. Additionally, I used to be a pupil with little cash and no pretend ID; my choices have been restricted. “You’ve a brand new message from tacobellforever” — individuals would really like that!

So when Jon, username redacted, slid into my inbox, it was pure that the dialog drifted to Taco Bell. My choice for the quesarito made me a Taco Bell maximalist, on the hunt for the subsequent and finest. Jon, in the meantime, was a self-described “Taco Bell fundamentalist,” preferring the frugal, no-nonsense potato gentle taco. (If an affinity for Taco Bell says one thing about you as an individual, so does your Taco Bell order.)

Jon was bummed, he wrote, that there wasn’t a Taco Bell close by. On the time, Boston, the place we each lived, famously didn’t stay más. (Does it now? It does not less than have extra Taco Bells than it did then.) After I broke the information that there was a location tucked right into a mall meals courtroom in Cambridge, it turned clear that as an alternative of assembly for espresso, we needed to get Taco Bell. On a chilly night time in 2013, we met up: I ordered my ordinary, he ordered his.

A yr later, we celebrated our anniversary on the identical mall meals courtroom, the identical Taco Bell. Through the years, we’ve put away numerous Taco Bell potatoes collectively, sucked down so many shared Baja Blasts, and have usually flashed the “marry me” Fireplace Sauce packets at one another — at first as a joke, then finally significantly. Ten years after that first date, after we’d moved to a unique and extra Taco Bell-rich metropolis and had determined, why not get married?, Jon obtained down on one knee, the place else however exterior a Taco Bell.

Our order throughout a 2015 go to to Taco Bell — my quesarito, Jon’s potato gentle taco.

But this factor that I as soon as thought made Jon and I so foolish and particular is, it seems, not precisely distinctive. I discovered that the Taco Bell the place we met closed by way of Reddit. One of many feedback even learn, “My spouse and I had our first date right here in 2013.” Did I simply discover Jon’s alt? Studying the consumer historical past made it clear that this was a completely completely different couple, who occurred to have met in the identical place on the identical time.

After I not too long ago interviewed {couples} about their date night time habits, two of them introduced up Taco Bell with none prompting on my finish. “Our first date was at Taco Bell,” one particular person even famous. Taco Bell weddings are apparently of sufficient curiosity that the corporate gives them as a ready-to-go Las Vegas “expertise.” And other people have, it appears, certainly used these “marry me” sauce packets significantly. What precisely is it about Taco Bell?

I requested Jon why we met at Taco Bell and never, say, at a McDonald’s. “Taco Bell is pleasant,” he mentioned, including that it’s each scrumptious and somewhat cheesy. I’ve by no means actually had affection for McDonald’s, however even when I did, I can’t think about having made my username “mcdonaldsforever,” nor eager to heart a dialog round McDonald’s. That will really feel too earnest someway: McDonald’s simply isn’t very humorous, nor does it point out something attention-grabbing, I believe, about one’s style.

There’s a cause, in any case, that Taco Bell has earned its personal literary journal, the independently run Taco Bell Quarterly, whereas there isn’t any lovingly joking analog known as McDonald’s Month-to-month. (The primary query in Quarterly’s submission tips: “Is that this a joke?” It’s not; there have been seven volumes up to now.)

Taco Bell, not like many different chains, has all the time felt somewhat ironic and in by itself joke. Possibly that is by advantage of its meals, which has by no means been about authenticity however irreverence, the chain inventing its personal ridiculous taxonomy of mash-ups (Mexican pizza, quesarito). Taco Bell isn’t “actual” Mexican meals, however it has all the time, not less than in my lifetime, been realizing about this: A Cheez-It tostada lands at Taco Bell, as a result of its viewers is stoners and foolish individuals. Possibly including to the chain’s cheeky vibe is the truth that for thus lengthy, it was promoted by a speaking chihuahua.

Both means, Taco Bell has all the time felt just like the shitpost possibility. To counsel it because the assembly level for a date feels much less like being low cost, as I’d really feel if a suitor urged Chick-fil-A or Burger King, and extra like sussing out another person’s style and whether or not they too are additionally somewhat goofy and enjoyable and never self-serious. They’ll just like the intellectual however they’re humble sufficient to just accept that typically, nothing hits like gooey, processed cheese. Taco Bell is the Haha, however what if? selection. To like Taco Bell is to additionally concentrate on all of the methods possibly you shouldn’t love Taco Bell. And but, we will’t assist what we love.

Occasions change. The quesarito is not formally on the menu board. The mall the place we met changed its chain-filled meals courtroom with a meals corridor of upscaled choices. We don’t eat Taco Bell as a lot anymore. However Jon and me, that’s eternally.

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