Time administration and group have by no means come naturally to me. When life turned unmanageable—a relentless since my second baby arrived—I appeared to the specialists. Not as soon as did I consider listening to my very own rhythm and physique. Productiveness, I believed, was one thing to grasp, not one thing to grasp.
Then I hit a wall.
I used to be uninterested in feeling like this, so I ended preventing my very own nature. I ended taking productiveness recommendation from individuals who don’t have ADHD.
For years, I had been making an attempt to contort myself into somebody I wasn’t—structured, disciplined, and neatly organized. An individual who might comply with a system designed for a mind that didn’t work like mine. Why had I ever believed I might handle my time the identical approach they did?
The shift was refined however modified every little thing. I’m unstuck, not languishing, transferring forward with objective. I do know I’ll get caught once more, however I additionally know this: I’m executed chasing options that had been by no means meant to work for me.
In the present day, I’m sharing what does work—how I get issues executed with out draining myself within the course of. As a result of once we work towards who we’re, burnout isn’t a chance. It’s a assure.
Notes on Productiveness, Relaxation, and Worthiness
A word on productiveness.
I outline productiveness as doing what I stated I’d do—for myself, for others—in a approach that is smart for my life. I spent two years making an attempt to heal burnout by “resting,” solely to really feel worse with every passing day. Seems, relaxation isn’t simply stillness. Some sorts of relaxation are energetic, and studying to revive that modified every little thing.
A word on relaxation.
Totally different sorts of relaxation comply with totally different sorts of productiveness. Understanding what you want means understanding your limits. Attempting to perform like somebody with out ADHD solely pushed me farther from these alerts. ADHD brains want several types of relaxation—emotional, psychological, inventive, bodily, passive.
I don’t recharge by watching TV. I recharge by studying, cooking, taking lengthy walks, and practising Pilates. To outsiders, it’d seem like I’m all the time going, however this sort of motion restores me. Typically, organizing a junk drawer is self-care. Different occasions, it’s a warning signal. After I’m mentally drained, TV helps. After I’m emotionally overwhelmed, it makes me really feel caught. Studying the distinction modified every little thing.
A word on worthiness.
We’re taught to measure our price by what we produce. A part of my midlife journey has been rejecting that, untangling my worth from my output, and specializing in making quite than measuring. For those who’re within the thick of that, this submit might not be what you want as we speak.
Your price is just not your work. However making—creating, transferring, shaping one thing from nothing—is an expression of you. It’s life-giving. It’s confidence-building. It’s the factor that may pull you out of a spiral earlier than it takes maintain. After I began honoring my interior drive to create, productiveness stopped being one thing I chased. It turned the pure results of discovering my stream. Momentum, not depletion. Creation, not extraction. And that modified every little thing.
After I began honoring my interior drive to create, productiveness stopped being one thing I chased. It turned the pure results of discovering my stream. Momentum, not depletion. Creation, not extraction. And that modified every little thing.
Dwelling with Limitations, Each Psychological and Bodily
I’m a working mom with hobbies, a social life, and a deep appreciation for a superb evening’s sleep and each day bodily motion. I don’t need to give any of that up. So, I settle for that I don’t have lengthy, uninterrupted stretches for deep-focus work like I used to.
I additionally settle for that typically I don’t know if I would like relaxation or momentum. The one strategy to know is by tuning into my physique, and that requires emotional regulation, which can also be laborious to entry once you’re overstimulated.
My capability to entry my most “productive” self is restricted and never constant. Understanding I’m not all the time going to make the proper alternative helps me discover some grace quite than falling right into a disgrace spiral. I used to make my incapability to get issues executed imply one thing about me as a human being. We don’t try this anymore. Some days I can provide myself what I would like. Some days I simply mess up. Life goes on.
Reaching optimum productiveness on daily basis is unrealistic. After I do yoga, my physique can really feel completely totally different from sooner or later to the subsequent. Brains are like that too. There are occasions when work and life really feel like an uphill battle. Switching duties feels more durable than it needs to be. And there are seasons the place effectivity simply isn’t within the playing cards—accepting that has been key to discovering a approach by means of.
As a result of I don’t have hours to ease into focus, I’ve needed to hack my system. In doing that, I discovered three important ideas that assist me get issues executed with a neurodivergent mind: simplicity, urgency, and momentum.
Right here’s how they form my each day life.
3 Rules I Comply with for Improved “Productiveness”
Precept 1: Simplicity
I keep easy programs for capturing concepts, documenting duties, and organizing the entire above. The secret’s that the processes are simple to repeat and every little thing is straightforward to entry—nothing is ever too sophisticated. That is paramount.
I take advantage of the Notes app and Reminders app on my telephone in addition to Notion to save lots of concepts and duties. I additionally write issues down on paper as a result of I’ll by no means be a totally digital individual. The mind processes handwriting fully otherwise than typing. Apart from Notion, the apps on my telephone are VERY easy and straightforward to make use of.
I take advantage of the bucket system for digital information (and bodily objects in my residence), one thing I first discovered about from KC Davis, creator of Preserve Home Whereas Drowning. I take advantage of digital buckets to arrange information on my laptop in these classes: To-Do Lists, Writing, Enterprise Tasks, Content material Creation, Household, Our House, Studying, Finance, Psychological Well being, Cooking, Journey, Bodily Well being, and Shoppers.
Precept 2: Urgency
These of us who’re deeply aware of procrastination understand it’s a nasty behavior that “works” as a result of we get issues executed as soon as we really feel the stress of time. Nevertheless, I found that once I procrastinate and rush to get every little thing executed shortly, I really feel like my work is missing as a result of I don’t have time to follow deep work and get all my concepts out. To interrupt the cycle of procrastination, I have to create my very own urgency. This precept comes into play by way of the timer I take advantage of (extra on this under).
Precept 3: Momentum
With any motion, I’ve lengthy recognized the toughest half is getting began, which is why creating momentum is so essential. As a result of transitions are so tough for folks with ADHD, the precept of momentum retains us going.
To create my each day momentum, I carried out a morning routine that’s pared all the way down to the fundamentals and prioritizes essentially the most difficult factor first. I rise up, brew espresso, and sit all the way down to work instantly. This creates a pure inflow of dopamine that may carry me by means of the day. I used to meditate and stretch earlier than attending to work, and now I do it after I end one thing that takes loads of focus. I really feel superb and able to sort out something once I use momentum like this.
4 Productiveness Instruments I Swear By
For a similar causes I’m a fan of utilizing pen and paper, I like bodily instruments that aren’t on my telephone. Listed below are the 4 I all the time have at my desk.
1. Keep on Monitor Planner: This planner helps me plan the small print of every week.
2. Timer: That is for practising the Pomodoro approach and for simulating and creating urgency and constraints. I’ve three of them.
3. The Brick: The Brick blocks choose apps on my telephone for a set period of time. Having a bodily device to restrict my digital entry is essential for me. Brick wins for its simplicity.
4. Apple Headphones: To lock in and tune out. White noise, sound bowls, EDM, rap. Doesn’t matter what it’s so long as I can’t hear what’s happening round me.
I additionally flip to some choose assets and other people for recommendation on productiveness:
My Work Routine
On Sunday evening or Monday morning, I mind dump every little thing into my Keep on Monitor Planner—duties, concepts, and notes I’ve collected all through the week in my Notes and Reminders apps. Then, I take advantage of the Eisenhower Matrix to kind what’s pressing, what can wait, what might be delegated, and what’s simply noise. I hate planning, however I’ve discovered that pushing by means of this step makes every little thing else simpler.
When it’s time to work, I take my brick and timer wherever I am going—whether or not it’s my workplace, the eating desk, or a espresso store. I placed on my headphones, decide a process, and set a timer: 25 minutes for small duties like emails and captions, 45 minutes for deeper work like writing and design. The timer retains me from falling into perfectionism (which is simply procrastination in disguise).
I additionally set agency bodily and digital boundaries. My telephone stays out of attain, my texts are on mute, and if my workplace divider is up, my household is aware of I would like uninterrupted time. It’s not good—youngsters nonetheless stroll in—nevertheless it helps everybody be extra conscious about what pressing truly means.
On the finish of the day, I ask myself: Do I have to push by means of or name it an evening? If I really feel like ending my to-do checklist will show I “labored laborious sufficient,” I am going to mattress. If wrapping up one final process will assist tomorrow’s momentum, I give myself 30 extra minutes. No inflexible guidelines—simply tuning in.
I used to make my incapability to get issues executed imply one thing about me as a human being. We don’t try this anymore. Some days I can provide myself what I would like. Some days I simply mess up. Life goes on.
The Energy of Discomfort
I not take ease as a right as a result of I understand how laborious easy issues might be. I used to attend for the right circumstances to put in writing—now I jot issues down in the course of a grocery retailer. I comply with ease when it presents itself.
However discomfort is all the time there.
When large initiatives really feel overwhelming (whats up, writing a ebook), I take into consideration Phil Stutz’s string of pearls idea—progress is simply including one small motion at a time. Some pearls aren’t nice, however the level is to maintain including them. Getting began is 80% of the battle, and resistance by no means totally disappears.
Over time, I’ve come to understand the ache of doing laborious issues. It’s stripped my ego from productiveness and proven me the meditative energy of merely doing. The ache of making comes from caring a lot that we’re afraid—and that’s lovely.
We don’t have to boss-babe our approach again to hustle tradition, however possibly we swung too far within the different path. I do know I did. Now, I consider self-care as self-respect: How can I make selections as we speak that honor what I care about most?
There’ll all the time be elements of the method we hate, however the extra we do them, the higher we get at pushing by means of. And in doing so, we carry what we deeply care about to life.
Kate is the founding father of Wit & Delight. She is at the moment studying how one can play tennis and is without end testing the boundaries of her inventive muscle. Comply with her on Instagram at @witanddelight_.
